目錄
  • 英語單詞笑話大全 爆笑
  • 英語小笑話1一2分鐘幽默
  • 英語小笑話(很短的)
  • 最爆笑趣味英語單詞
  • 英語笑話大全 爆笑對話

    • 英語單詞笑話大全 爆笑

    明上英文課時跟老師說：May I go to the toilet?老師說：Go ahead.小明就坐了下來.過了一會兒,小明又跟老師說：

    May I go to the toilet?老師說：Go ahead.小明又坐了下來.他旁邊的同學于是忍不住問：你不是跟老師說要上廁所嗎?怎么不去?

    小明說：你沒聽老師說“去你個頭”啊!

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    一對熱戀中的男女腔滲.女生非常沒有安全感,于是對著男友說：“SAY I LOVE YOU!SAY IT!SAY IT!SAY IT!”

    男的答道：“IT!”

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    一位在美的留學生,想要考國際駕照.在考試時因為過于緊張,看到地上標線是向左轉(zhuǎn).

    他不放心的問道:turn left?

    監(jiān)考官回答：right.于是他立刻向右轉(zhuǎn)……

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    某人刻苦學習英語,終有小成.一日上街不慎與一老外相撞,忙說：I am sorry.

    老外應道：I am sorry too.

    伍槐脊某人聽后又道明培：I am sorry three.

    老外不解,問：What are you sorry for?某人無奈,道：I am sorry five.

    X

    登錄 · · · · · ·Email:

    密 碼:忘記密碼了

    在這臺電腦上記住我

    還沒有注冊...

    英語小笑話1一2分鐘幽默

    1、Boy:Isthisseatempty?Girl:Yesandthisonewillbeifyousitdown.男孩：這個座位是空的么？女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也將是空的。

    2、Boy:CanIbuyyouadrink?Girl:ActuallyI'dratherhavethemoney.男孩：我可以給你買杯飲料嗎？女孩：你不如直接把錢給我得了。

    3、Mylittledogcan'treadMrs.Brown:Oh,mydear,Ihavelostmypreciouslittledog!Mrs.Smith:Butyoumustputanadvertisementinthepapers!Mrs.Brown:It'snouse,mylittledogcan'tread.

    我的狗不識字。布朗夫人：哦賣纖，親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了！史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告??！布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認識字?！?/p>

    4、MyWifeWillExchangeThem。Agentlemanwalksintoastoreandaskedforapairofgloves.″Clothorleather﹖″askedthesalesperson.″Makesnodifference″repliedcustomer.″Whatcolor﹖″askedtheclerk.″Any″heresponded.

    ″Size﹖″″Givemewhateveryouprefer″thegentlemansaidslightlyexasperated.″Mywifewillbebacktomorrowtoexchangethem.″

    反正我太太明天會來換的。一位先生走進一家商店要買副手套。“您是要布的還是皮的？”售貨員問?！皼]什么區(qū)別?！边@位顧客回答。“那您要什么顏色的呢？”售貨員又問?！笆裁搭伾汲??！彼卮??！疤柎a呢？”“您就隨便給我拿一副吧，”這位顧客有點不耐煩了，“反正我太太明天都會來換的?！?/p>

    5、AphysicsExamination，Onceinaphysicsexamination,Nickfinishedthefirstquestionverysoon,whilehisclassmateswerethinkingithard.Thequestionwas:Whenitthunderswhydoweseethelightingfirst,thenhearthethunderrolls?

    Nick‘sanswer:Becauseoureyesarebeforeears.

    一次物理考試。在一次物理考試時，當同學們都還在苦思冥想時，尼克很快就答好了第一個問題。這個問題是：為什么在打雷時，我們總是先看到閃電后聽到雷聲？尼克的回答是：因為眼睛在前，耳朵在后。

    6、Jim’sHistoryExamination。Uncle:HowdidJimdoinhishistoryexamination?Mother:Oh,notatallwell,butthere,itwasn'thisfault.Theyaskedhimthingsthathappenedbeforethepoorboywasborn.

    吉姆的歷史考試。舅舅：吉姆這孩子歷史考得怎么樣？母親：唉，糟透了?？稍捰终f回來，這也不能怪他。嗨，他們盡問一些這個可憐的孩子出生前的事兒。

    7、heisreallysomebody。--Myunclehas1000menunderhim.--Heisreallysomebody.Whatdoeshedo?--Amaintenancemaninacemetery.

    他真是一個大人物。--我叔叔下面有1000個人。--他真是一個大人物。干什么的？--墓地守墓人。

    擴展資料：

    笑話念枯具有篇幅短小，故事情節(jié)簡單而巧妙，往往出人意料，給人突然之間笑神來了的奇妙感覺的特點。大多揭示生活中乖謬的現(xiàn)象，具有諷刺性和娛樂性。其趣味有高下之分。

    人類歷史上，人自從有了語言，就已經(jīng)出現(xiàn)了開玩笑的語言，最早，人們以口相傳，后來有了文字，許多笑話便被記載下來，編書成冊。但還有很多笑話，是流傳于民間的，就當中高仿今社會，每天都有很多笑話出現(xiàn)，有心人如果收集，我想將來一定會有價值。

    同時豐富了笑話的寶庫。隨著近十年網(wǎng)絡(luò)和手機的飛速發(fā)展，隨之出現(xiàn)了網(wǎng)絡(luò)笑話，網(wǎng)絡(luò)流行語，給力大全，手機笑話，雷人語句，笑料聯(lián)盟等，促使笑話發(fā)展到一個新的階段。

    參考資料：百度百科：笑話

    英語小笑話(很短的)

    1)TOM'S EXCUSE

    Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

    Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go

    Slow".

    湯姆的借口

    老師：湯姆，您為什么銀兄每天上學遲到？

    湯姆：我每次路過拐角，一個路標上面寫著："學校----慢行。"

    DID YOUR DAD...

    2)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"

    and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"

    湯姆對著吉姆罵道:"我受不了你這個苯蛋了!"

    吉姆說:"你媽媽能!"

    附:bear 有兩重意思:"生"和"忍受"這個笑話正是根據(jù)這點.

    3)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"

    and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"

    湯姆對著吉姆罵道:"我受不了你這個苯蛋了!"

    吉姆說:"你媽媽能!"灶晌

    附:bear 有兩重意思:"生"和"忍受"這個笑話正是根據(jù)這點.

    4)A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"

    一男子進入教堂和上帝對話.他問:"主啊, 一百萬美元對你意味著多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又問:"那一百萬年呢?"上帝說:"一秒鐘."最后男子請求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士嗎?"上帝回答:"過一秒鐘."

    5)Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.When Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?”

    “Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.”

    一盒小火柴

    媽媽讓湯米去馬路對面鋒辯襲的商店里買一盒好用的火柴。湯米回來后，媽媽問他，“你買的是好用的火柴嗎？”

    “是的，媽媽?！睖谆卮?，“我把它們都試過了?！?

    6)Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.

    Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing!

    開車

    父親：哎呀，我剛才違規(guī)右轉(zhuǎn)彎了。

    蘇西：沒事，爸，跟在你后面的警察也這么轉(zhuǎn)了。

    7)Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”

    “I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered.

    “You’er a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are tow cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?”

    “She is the one who sells the candy.”

    好孩子

    小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。

    “昨天給你的錢干什么了？”

    “我給了一個可憐的老太婆?！彼卮鹫f?！澳阏媸且粋€好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說. “再給你兩分錢?？赡銥槭裁磳δ俏焕咸敲锤信d趣呢？”

    “她是個賣糖果的?！?

    8)Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,”What happened?”

    “A kid bit me,”replied Ivan.

    “Would you recognize him if you sew him again?”asked his mother.

    “I’d know him any where,”said Ivan.”I have his ear in my pocket.”

    他的耳朵在我的衣兜里

    伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問，“發(fā)生了什么事？”

    “一個男孩咬了我一口?！币练舱f。

    “再見到他你能認出來嗎？”媽媽問。

    “他走到哪里我都能認出他，”伊凡說，“他的耳朵還在我的衣兜里。”

    9)Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

    Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

    Teacher: Please tell us.

    Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

    兩只鳥

    老師： 這兒有兩只鳥，一只是麻雀。誰能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎？

    學生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

    老師：請說說看。

    學生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。

    最爆笑趣味英語單詞

    I am the Driver

    The bus was crowded, and as one more man tried to get on, the passengers wouldn't let him aboard. "It's too crowded," they shouted. "What do you think you are?" "I'm the driver," he said.

    我是司機

    一輛公共汽車已經(jīng)相當擁擠，還有一個人想擠進來，乘客不讓他上去。 “太擠了，”他們喊道，“你以為你是誰？” “我是司機。”他回答說。

    I'll See to the Rest

    A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.

    "Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"

    "Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.

    "You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."

    其余的事由我負責

    一位車上槐清的列車員剛發(fā)出信號讓火車啟動，這時他看見一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站臺上一節(jié)打開的車廂門旁邊，跟車廂里另一鉛搭前位漂亮姑娘在說話。

    “快點，小姐!”他喊道：“請把門關(guān)上?！?/p>

    “噢，我還沒有和妹妹吻別呢?！彼卮鸬?。

    “請把門關(guān)上好了，”列車員說：“其余的事由我負責?！?/p>

    Sleeping Pills

    Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.

    Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning."

    "That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"

    安眠藥

    鮑勃晚上失眠。他去看醫(yī)生，醫(yī)生給他開了一些強力安眠藥。枝姿

    星期天晚上鮑勃吃了藥，睡得很好，在鬧鐘響之前就醒了過來。他到了辦公室，遛達進去，對老板說：“我今天早上起床一點麻煩都沒有?！?/p>

    “好啊!”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪兒去了？”

    英語笑話大全 爆笑對話

    美國人＋英國人＋中國人...比試槍法～日本人說：我們崇尚武士道，不畏懼犧牲，我敢頭上頂著蘋果讓你們來比試槍法，于是把一個蘋果放在了頭上。 美國人轉(zhuǎn)身向后走了20步，然后回頭就是一槍，蘋果被打肆判檔爆了，他沖譽驕傲的說：oh, i am hunter. 日本人又放了一個蘋果系頭上。 英國人轉(zhuǎn)身向后走了50步，然后回頭又是一槍，蘋果被打爆了，他驕傲的說：oh, i am bond.(means james bond) 日本人放心了，于是，裂亂放了一個小蘋果在頭上。 中國人轉(zhuǎn)身向后走了3步，然后回頭就是一槍，日本人的腦袋被打爆了，他驕傲的說：oh, i am sorry！

    【聲明：本文來源于網(wǎng)絡(luò)，若有來源標注錯誤或涉嫌侵犯您的合法權(quán)益，請聯(lián)系我們。我們將及時更正、刪除，謝謝?！?/p>